Friday, February 22, 2008

We have a plan!!

I’m a planner. I like to know what’s going to happen and when it’s going to happen.

I like sleep. Without sleep, I am. not. fun.

Lately I’ve not been sleeping well because we’ve had no plan for our trip to Texas.

Madison was born here in town. We knew April was going to be induced on November 12. We got the call that she was born and we were there in 30 minutes. Nice and easy.

Tiffany’s due date has always been March 6, but she was 10 days late with her son. She sees a different doctor each week she goes in, so nobody was willing to set an induction date. She has asked me to be her coach, so I pretty much need to be there when she goes into labor.

We finally created a plan: Madison and I would go down and hang out with friends in Dallas… waiting… while Tucker stayed home until Tiffany went into labor, when he would join us. But I still wasn’t sleeping because there were still so many unknowns.

What if Tuck couldn’t get there fast enough? And who would be with Madison while I’m with Tiffany? How can we afford rent a car and sit in a Texas hotel for days on end? Etc, etc, etc.

So my friend Sally, who lives in Dallas, emailed a few days ago. Without knowing any of my concerns she said: “PLEASE stay here with us... we really want our home to be a haven for you... wait here until the baby is born, we can pick Tucker up from the airport if he needs to come in at the last minute, we can have a crib here for the baby as you travel back home, we can give you one of our cars, anything you want, we will deliver. And, I would love to go with you to College Station to help you with Madison.”

Wow. God is so good to us. He has placed so many people in our lives that are just incredible. And each day, it keeps getting better…

Tiffany called yesterday: she actually saw the same doctor 2 weeks in a row and – knowing our situation – he has decided to induce her on March 4th! That means we will all 3 fly down there together, stay in a hotel until we get custody of our angel, then drive back to Dallas to stay with Sally & Mark until we get the paperwork that gives us permission to leave the state of Texas.

We have a plan.

I slept really well last night.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Is it spring yet?!

I can't imagine living where it's perpetually warm or constantly cold and have always said that I love living where there are 4 seasons, but come ON. Enough already.

Blessedly, my girl and I get to experience spring a little early... as in 2 weeks from today. On March 5 we leave for Texas where they have been consistently having 60 degree weather. Woo Hoo! (Tuck will join us soon thereafter).

Of course the reason we're going is even more exciting than that -- we will hopefully be meeting the newest member of our family. I say hopefully because Madison reminded me at bedtime tonight that "we don't know if God has picked us yet, Mom." You see, when we told her about our potential adoption, we used those exact words: "Tiffany has picked us to adopt her baby girl, but we'll have to wait to see if God picks us to be her forever family."

We've been down this road. We wanted to prepare her... just in case.

And then I've gotten all caught up in the excitement and the assumption that we will be bringing home a baby. So I stumbled all over myself trying to explain that I feel really good about things this time... and Tiffany calls all the time... and Tiffany told me point blank that she's not going to change her mind... but finally I admitted to my sweet angel that she's absolutely right: we don't know if God's picked us yet.

Thank you for your continued prayers. I will keep you posted.

PS My friend, Marie, blows me away. I can't even put into words all that she means to me. I will forever be amazed at her sacrificial love. I love you, friend.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Joy in the midst

I'm afraid there are people in my life that think raising my daughter has been nothing but challenging for me; including my husband. I seem to complain a LOT. In fact, I called my friend the other day because I was at my wit's end and needed feedback from someone who has 3 girls, one of which is a few years older than mine. After laughing with (at?) me, she assured me that I'm normal. Truth be told, my daughter has brought me more joy than I could ever have imagined.

(Disclaimer: the next paragraph contains a LOT of generalizations… please bear with me!)

I taught elementary school for 11 years. Generally speaking over the years, the boys were easier to deal with than the girls. The boys were busy, active and in each others’ faces a lot. The girls were dramatic, emotional and full of attitude. The boys didn’t always listen, but it was usually because they literally didn’t hear me. The girls didn’t always listen, but it was usually because they thought their way was better than mine. When the boys fought each other, it was physical and over when the last punch was thrown. When the girls fought each other, it was psychological and went on and on and on and on...

As cliché as it sounds, the boys were boys. There is no cliché that fits my experience with the girls.

Until God blessed me with my girl. Now I can say: “it’s like looking into a mirror.” And that’s what intimidates me the most – how similar we are. Stubborn, strong-willed, passionate, stubborn, vocal, hot-tempered, stubborn, grumpy when tired, stubborn… And because we are so much alike, we tend to crash into each other. Often.

But I’ve noticed something in the last few days. When I’m able to control my anger, things go swimmingly well. But when I’m over-stressed or tired, it’s not pretty. The number of times I’ve found myself acting HER age over the last 5 years is amazing. Embarrassing really. If I could grow up, maybe she would, too.

My Madison Claire is incredibly creative, has a beautiful imagination and is the most loving, compassionate soul that I have known. She loves to be around people, loves meeting new people, is highly aware of others’ feelings and would do anything for her friends. She has the most pure understanding of God and His love, and she teaches me about that love every day.

Plus she’s brilliant.

I pray that from today forward I can focus on how blessed I am to not only know this little girl, but to be her Mom. I pray that I can love every bit of her every minute of every day. I pray that when she challenges me (because she will), that I can hold on to my immaturity and act like the adult. I pray, above all, that I can remember that God blessed me (and Tuck, of course) with this little girl to raise in His name, to love Him and to guide others to Him.

And now it looks like He’s doing it again… blessing us with another little girl. All along, we’ve been praying that God would bring whatever child He saw fit to complete our family. My girl is over the moon to have a baby sister, so there is no doubt He has answered our prayer.

How do I feel about another girl? Honestly, I’m thrilled. Tuck is, too; he’s a great “girl daddy” and so very patient with all the craziness. Will our next daughter be like Madison and me? Or will she be our opposite… bringing a whole different set of issues (as Addie pointed out – thank you very little)?

Either way, I say: bring it.

“Amen! Blessing and glory and wisdom, thanksgiving and honor and power and might be to our God forever and ever. Amen.” Revelation 7:12